Articles    

2008

What makes a marriage?
Waterbury pastor will you give you an earful
BY TRACY SIMMONS | REPUBLICAN-AMERICAN

June 6 2008

Pastor T. Charles Brantley knows good sex.

He's studied it. He's written about it and he's talked about it.

Brantley, 43, of Naugatuck, describes himself as an "outside the box type of preacher" and holds a day job at Webster Bank in Cheshire where he puts his business/mathematics undergraduate degree from Florida A&M University to work. On evenings and on weekends, he can probably be found at Restoration Springs Interdenominational Church of Waterbury where he and his wife, Jacqueline, serve as pastors. There he proudly puts to use his newly earned Master of Divinity and Master of Arts in Pastoral Leadership degrees from Newburgh Theological Seminary and College of the Bible.

"There is this epidemic going around in churches where pastors are getting degrees after five minutes on the Internet and I felt I needed to go through the whole 18 months, 20 credit hours to get my degree," he said. "The reason I wanted to do it is because we're living in a relatively pluralistic type of society and I just can't say just say I'm a pastor because God told me to anymore."

He's written five books, his latest "Even Christians Use the Bathroom" will be released this month.

His publications have a common theme – relationships, marriage, sex.

"When I became married they told me that now I could have sex without feeling guilty," he said, "but marriage is about more than just that. It's a relationship."

Behind the pulpit, Brantley, who describes himself as Christian interdenominational, is filled with a vitality that spreads throughout the sanctuary.

When preaching, he not only uses his Bible but also uses his Palm Pilot to explain Greek and Hebrew definitions.

His storefront church, at 1575 Thomaston Ave.has about 50 members. He said he and his wife started the church 11 years ago in Naugatuck because they wanted to help bring restoration to people's lives, particularly those who have struggled with abuse and divorce.Brantley, a fourth generation preacher, said he knew he wanted to be a minister when he delivered his first sermon at age 16.

"At a earlier age, I was gifted to reach and teach others the Word of God," he said.

When he first arrived in Connecticut from Florida he served as a church elder and in 1997 felt called to start his own church.

"I felt lead to start a church that encompassed all races and gave everyone a second chance," he said.

When preaching, his goal, he said, is to keep the crowd engaged and said when he makes a child laugh during sermon, he knows he did his job.

Brantley, who has been married for 23 years and has two teenagers, has self-published five books and is working on a sixth. His latest book "Even Christians Use the Bathroom: Simul Iustus et Peccator (Latin for "at the same time righteous and a sinner)" was published this month.

"In my books I tell people I'm not perfect," he said.

He said the Bible uses the term "knew" to describe sex between couples. Adam knew Eve, for example.

"So that 'knowing' is what is needed for a relationship to last. For 23 years I've been getting to know my wife and that's what couples need to do," Brantley, 43, said. "A lot of men don't understand what pleasure is. My goal is to get the man out of the Dark Ages and enjoy what God has given them."

He said many Christians believe sex is only about procreation.

"To me that's why 50 percent of Christian marriages are failing," he said. "To me, it's good communication and it's good sex. If you can enjoy it, then brother, she can enjoy it."

He addresses the issue specifically in "New Sheets," which he published in 2006. He plans to address it again in his next book, "Can Christians and Sensuality Co-habitate?"

In 2007 he wrote "Successful Marriages for Successful Men" where in 115 chapters examines "the brass knuckles about marriage from a man's perspective and a women's perspective."

"Real Men Don't Have Closets," also published in 2007, talks about honesty in marriage.

"You should not have secrets from your wife, and again, it goes back to the word 'know'," he said.

Brantley's newest publication, "Even Christians Use the Bathroom," is of the same mind frame, he said.

"Christians should not act as if they are perfect because they are not," he said, noting their "stuff" stinks as much as anyone else's, hence the title of the book.

He hopes the message of the book will take the pressure off of Christians.

Though Brantley's books mostly target men, he encourages women to read them as well.

"It's something women should read to help understand her husband because we are hard people to understand," he said.

Al Johnson, of Restoration Springs, described Brantley as a contemporary man.

"He seems to be able to relate to people that are very young, very old, street people and very educated people," he said. "That's what stands out to me about him."

He added that he's impressed with Brantley's recently graduate degree achievements.

"We need more people to do that," he said.

Brantley can be heard bi-monthly on HOT 93.7 FM where he answers questions about marriage.

His books are available through Barnes & Noble, amazon.com and other Internet book stores.